NieuCommunities

Several weeks ago I did a personal spiritual retreat. The goal of which was just to cuddle up with God and not worry about all the cool ways he’s been transforming me, but to just enjoy each other.

I spent the first evening journalling about my past year, and praising God for what he had already done.

After I finished I realized it sounded like something a Psalmist would write… so I edited it a bit to make it more Psalmish…

I learned lessons of you, that You never taught

Contentment became long suffering misery

Obedience became denial of anything I was

In Your name I sacrificed myself

You grieved

You waited

You carefully picked up the pieces of Your creation, the pieces I had cast off

You saved them for me

Many years, a broken heart, and heavy baggage later, I sat in a coffee shop

My dreams were in view, and yet I experienced crushing anxiety

Anxiety that caused an inability to eat, and eventually an inability to breathe or walk normally

You were there

I would not let you in

So you came in the arms of my mother, the voice of my father, two weeks off of work, and the generosity of friends

And at just the right time, you brought me here

You are so good God, so patient, and understanding

You gave me the freedom to be honest, and people to be honest with

I was loved through them, because I could not recognize love from You

In Your grace and gentleness, you drew me out

With no harsh rebuke You opened my eyes to the errors of my thoughts

You revealed Your love to

and it was Good

Thank you God… love you.